My thighs weren’t quite as sore tonight, but they were still a little sore. Unfortunately, I was too worn out to really push myself during sparring. It made me feel bad, because we had some veteran white belts in the class for a change, who were really bringing the heat. I survived their spirited attacks, but had my guard repeatedly passed, and was only able to pass the guard of one of them. It wasn’t an issue of superior technique. For the most part, it was the typical story…younger, faster, stronger against older, slower, weaker. The head coach deliberately had the white belts only spar with each other tonight in order to remind us that dealing with experienced white belts can be challenging in its own way, because they tend to resort far more frequently to naked aggression. Unfortunately, naked aggression is not in my toolkit. I’m simply never going to be able to over power anyone on shear force of will. Well…maybe a 90 pound girl, but I doubt I’m ever going to be mugged in a dark alley by a 90 pound female. The best I can hope for is to survive the onslaught until they get tired, then make my move. But, it takes a while for an in shape twenty year old to get that tired, so I have to really seize on the windows of opportunity when they present themselves. Who knows, maybe I’m just delusional to think that I can ever really keep up with the younger guys. But, what choice do I have? Most of the people in the gym are young and in shape. If I want to do jiu jitsu, to which I’m now addicted, I have no choice but to find a way to win against them. Maybe, the best I can do is avoid outright defeat, but I’m not ready to settle on that as my end goal. I’ve had enough fleeting moments of success to know it’s at least possible for me to win, even if only occasionally.